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The Mystical Pastafarian Page
Below, my first encounter that led to my conversion to
Pastafarianism.
The Flying Spaghetti Monster
Speaks!
Below is what He said to humble,
little me inside a burning bush.
Ahoy,
Well blow me down if it weren't for the other day. I was awakened by the smell
of burning pasta in the morn, thar's nothin like it! I thought it was the ol
seawitch cookin a bucket o' rat swill stew, but when I opened mine eyes and saw somthin
that shivered me timbers, "AVAST" I said, "Who are ye, who goes
thar?"
You could have knocked me over with a dead mackerel. Only one week after
converting to Pastafarianism, I was visited by His image in a burning bush. I knelt
before thee, cried out "What does this all mean? I'm just a mere chum in the sea of life! How can I serve thee?"
He says to me "You can be of service to me in one way. Find yourself two
bisexual nymphomaniac strippers. Though you may have to toil prodigiously, bring
me a an offspring!"
Aye, I shall, I SHALL!
After that, he disappeared in a puff of smoke, the sweet aroma of fried pasta
still wafts the area today. Now where do I find these two strippers he talked
about? I'm surely up to the task.
Yours truly,
Smelly Boots Ridingcrop
Become a Pastafarian at: www.venganza.org
Recent News!
Dateline 02/28/09 - It is well established in Pastafarian
teachings that the amount of pirates is directly attributable to the Earths
average temperature. Ergo, the fewer pirates, the warmer the Earth becomes.
During the las few centuries, there has been a steady drop-off of of pirates and
the Earth has steadily becoming warmer. I, it is the result of man's activities,
but not by driving SUV,s, nay, but IN KILLING OFF PIRATES! SEE WHAT JA DONE?
Well, it just so happens that in the past ten or so years, pirate activity has
sprung into life off the coast of Somalia and the Earth's mean temperature has
begun to cool. Coincidence? I think NOT! Stay tuned!
Dateline 10/21/08 - A Pastafarian and his menacing ship
spotted in Medford, Oregon, in the parking lot of a large grocery store. No
doubt to gather needed water, rum, a few pigs, some jerky and lots and lots of
beer. Click here to view the scoundrel and his conveyance.
[Note: Pirated some of the work of Niklas Jansson, that's what us pirates DO!]
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