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My Own Private I'm-In-Hell Or: A lesson in "Progressive" thinking 02/01/08 Updated 03/21/09 Once upon a starry summer night, a certain person in our household had finally had it up to HERE with me! What the whole fuss was about seemed quite trivial to me, but not at all to this person. However, in order to put this in perspective, I must take you back to the beginning. Not too long ago, I was GIVEN a four person hot tub, provided I pick it up myself. - Hey, it's free - NO PROBLEM!!! All I had to do was unhook it, drain it, turn it upon its side so it could be put it on the special dolly I had to build in order to move it through an extremely tight spot in order to egress it from this persons property. After I gathered three others and we put it on a trailer and hauled to our property, I made sure the others were compensated for their efforts. Beer seemed to do the job, but I digress. Now, all *I* had to do was install a 50 amp GFI breaker, run 8 gauge wire through 50 feet of conduit, including five elbows, that I connected from the main panel. I then added the required shut-off breaker, dropped the tub into place, patched the numerous cracks in it, fixed the messed up surface, sanded it, lacquered it and finally added the water and the required chemicals. Oh, and keep it full of water and balance the Ph level every so often. That's all..... so when it came to add the siding, as the old siding was a complete loss due to rot, I merely threw some old plywood along the sides to cover things up so we could begin using it, and using it we were. Well, it didn't take long before the nattering, caterwauling, and steady drumbeat about how UGLY the plywood looked. "What would the neighbors think?" or "We can't invite anyone over to use the tub in this condition!" I would always reply "I would do it if I could afford the materials, but I can't! Sorry." As usual, this person went on to lament how anything that is ever asked of me is NEVER granted or given thought to in this persons life, and naturally, this is all my fault. Oh my, the humanity! Picture this person, suffering so horribly, sitting in that hot tub as I poured the drinks, made sure we had fresh towels and then to be put away and packed up and put everything away and cleaned up after using the tub, not to mention laundering the towels every so often. But... every so often the yammering would begin about the siding, and every time I would assure this person that I could fix the siding and that it would take about $100.00 in materials. Every time I was asked when I will fix it, I would then have to explain that it I didn't have $100.00 to spend on that when so many other things needed attention. After about the third or fourth time of repeating this same fact, somehow the money became available and with a mighty outburst came - "Do it! I'm sick of living on Tobacco Road!" "Really?" I thought, "Tobacco road?" I've never been there. It must be a bad place! Maybe this person was right, I mean, I don't want to cause anyone unnecessary misery, so I made the repairs once the money became available. Now I see the light! How could I have been so selfish? But if you dare look at it when it was only plywood, if you have the nerve to actually observe this hideous and embarrassing hot tub I put together, if you DARE to be shocked, SHOCKED, then I say, sit down and hold your breath, for you may lose your eyesight; You've been warned! I've been told repeatedly that it's hideous! Full of graphic images! Disturbing images and dangerous though-criminal ideas! Are you sure you want to risk it? Okay, then..... click..... on the Tobacco Road link, and may God have mercy on your soul! [IMPORTANT NOTE: Because this part of the site is filled with WAV files, you MUST use a Micro$oft browser until I can get the patch in for Firefox. Any brainiac with an answer, please send it to me. Also -- Be sure to TURN UP THE VOLUME!] Okay - My you are brave! This is the way to: - TOBACCO ROAD * * * * * It's not too late to turn back! Are you sure you want to go "there?" If not, here is your escape button below. There will be escape buttons on every page in case it gets too difficult to take and you must leave! |
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