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Here’s a good country songAll my exe’s wear Rolex’s… And they were all great housekeepers… they all kept the house! [Note: A friend and regular contributor to this site, Ken B., sent me a link to a discussion group where they were all posting M.J. jokes. Some are sick, some are old, but most are very funny! Read at your own risk - Dave] * * * * * The final word on the death of Michael Jackson – At last!Say what you like about Michael Jackson, at least he drove past schools slowly. * * * * * Michael Jackson stated in his will that he wants to have his ashes scattered in the local sand pit so he can still get into kids pants. * *
* * * Q: What does Michael Jackson & Santa Clause have in common? A: They both leave little boys rooms with empty sacks. * * *
* * Q: How did Michael Jackson keep his youth? A: He kept them well supplied with Pizza & Nintendo. * * *
* * Q: Who does Michael Jackson consider a perfect "10"? A: Two 5 year olds. * * *
* * Michael Jackson had requested a sea burial... strapped to 2 buoys. * * *
* * Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson & Disney movies? A: Disney movies can still touch kids. * * *
* * Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson & Casper? A: One is pale & scares kids… the other is a friendly ghost. * * *
* * Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson & racing greyhounds? A: The greyhounds wait for the hairs to come out. * * *
* * They won't be burying Michael Jackson. He's being frozen. He will now be known as the King of Pop...sicles. * * *
* * The new Michael Jackson stamp will cost 44 cents, but if your forced to lick it you will be given 40 million dollars to keep your mouth shut about it. * * *
* * Q: What does Michael Jackson have in common with caviar? A: The both come on small white crackers. * * * * * After Michael Jackson paid $15 million in hush money to a dentists' son: "$15 million for filling ONE cavity?" * * *
* * Movies that never got made: "Michael Jackson in "Home Alone 4 - Think of the Children!" * *
* * * The real cause of Michael Jackson's death: Food poisoning from eating a 9-year-old wiener. Peter was recently suspended from his duties in heaven after Michael Jackson tried to get in. A spokesman for God said "It wasn't so much that Peter's first reaction was 'WTF???', but that he then told Mr. Jackson 'Sorry, white-faced monkeys have to go to the animal heaven'". God then proceeded to hold Mr. Jackson over the edge of a cloud for everyone to see ... and was quoted as saying "I want my children to have a normal life" before dropping him over the edge. * * *
* * #1 in a list of documentaries we don't want to see: "Michael Jackson Unmasked!" * *
* * * Diana Ross quote: "No, I will NOT channel Michael Jackson!" * *
* * * California Governator Schwartzenegger wants Michael Jackson to be buried in Detroit: "Particularly the nose. We have enough toxic waste already." After sneezing, Michael Jackson has to wipe his nose - then re-insert it. * *
* * * Dogs were banned from Neverland after one of them buried Michael Jackson's nose. * *
* * * Q. What's black and noisy and cute? A. Michael Jackson with the Jackson 5 Q. What's white and noisy and scary-ugly? A. Michael Jackson as a parent. Q. What's blue and quiet? A. Michael Jackson today. * * *
* * Q. What's green and sings all of Michael Jackson's hits backwards? A. Michael Jackson decomposing! Now that Michael Jackson is dead, who will rear the children? * * *
* * Michael Jackson knocked on the gates of heaven, and St. Peter told him to "Beat It". * * *
* * Since Michael was 80% plastic anyway, he should be recycled. Specifically, he should be recycled into plastic shopping bags so he can remain white, unsightly, and a menace to small children. * * *
* * And my favorite…. Q: What's the difference between Jacko and an Adobe Acrobat document? A: One's a PDF file... * * *
* * Lastly, posted 07/10/09 on side-bar “News” column on The Peoples Cube from suggestion by me! - check it out! Study: Media orgasm over Michael Jackson's death oddly appropriate. * * *
* * [Ugh! I’m glad THAT’S over! Can we put this to bed now? AAAHHH!! – Dave] This explains liberalism and out of control government perfectly Gun Control: The theory that a woman found dead in an alley, raped and strangled with her own pantyhose, is somehow morally superior to a woman explaining to police how her attacker got that fatal bullet hole. [Seen on a Tee-shirt at a firing range]
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