|
|
|
|
|
|
PICK-UP LINES THAT MAY GET YOU KILLED * If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole? * I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag. * If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning! * How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized? * I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face. * My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in. * Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go screw. * Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass! * If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays? * You remind me of a championship bass: I don't know whether to mount you or eat you! * Your parents must be retarded, because you are special. * Could I touch your belly button . . . from the inside? * I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69? * How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and
I'll put my head in.
THE TOP 15 DRILL SERGEANT PICK-UP LINES 15 "You make me hornier before 9 AM than most people do all day!" 14 "What's a pathetic weak piece of @#$%*! like you doing in a !&%#@$ dump like this??" 13 "Drop trou and give me 20!" 12 "Care to accompany me on a quiet, romantic, moonlit beach for a 5-mile hike and a hundred push-ups" 11 "Soldier, I'm admiring your strategic frontal mammary tissue mounds, two each." 10 "Remember 'An Officer and a Gentleman'? I'm neither, baby." 9 "The penalty for being out of uniform is a spanking." 8 "Wanna know why I'm called a 'drill' sergeant?" 7 "Drop and give me 69!" 6 "Baby, you put the 'fox' in 'foxhole'." 5 "You'll only have to give me one pushup soldier, if it's your bra." 4 "Your perfume reminds me of napalm in the morning." 3 "Drop and give me 20 -- on my lap." 2 "Wanna help me get an 'honorable discharge'?" AND TOP5'S NUMBER 1 DRILL SERGEANT PICK-UP LINE... 1 "Uncle Sam ain't the only one who wants you." [This list copyright by Chris White, The Top 5 List; top5@gmbweb.com
http://www.topfive.com To forward or repost, please include this section.]
The Top 12 Pick-Up Lines Used by "Star Wars" Fans 12 "Hey, Beautiful. What's a nice girl like you doing waiting in line without bathing for 10 days?" 11 "Your place or my Mom's?" 10 "I... uh... ummm... I... uh... (slaps own forehead) Stupid! STOO-pid!" 9 "You're even prettier than my fantasy girlfriend." 8 "I may look like an Ewok, but I'm all Wookie where it counts, baby." 7 "Date, or date not -- there is no 'let's just friends be'." 6 "If you only knew the power of the Dork Side." 5 "How's about a long time of Joe, in a bedroom not far away?" 4 "Nice buns, Princess! On your head, that is." 3 "Honey, you've been looking for love in Alderaan places!" 2 "If I said you had a mint first-edition, still-in-box action figure, would you hold it against me?" AND THE TOP FIVE COME-ON 'S NUMBER 1 PICK-UP LINE USED BY "STAR WARS" FANS... 1 "I'm gonna be an evil warlord when I grow up. Want a Milk Dud?" [This list copyright by Chris White The Top 5 List top5@topfive.com http://www.topfive.com Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use in any
manner without crediting "The Top 5 List at www.topfive.com"]
THE ULTIMATE LIST OF PICK-UP LINES TO USE ON ENGINEERING CHICKS 1. I won't stop bugging you until I get the address of your home page 2. You fascinate me more than the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus. 3. Since distance equals velocity times time, let's let velocity and time approach infinity, because I want to go all the way with you. 4. My love for you is like a concave up function because it is always increasing. 5. Let's convert our potential energy to kinetic energy. 6. Wanna come back to my room? ...and see my 166Mhz Pentium? 7. How about you and I go back to my place and form a covalent bond? 8. You and I would add up better than a Riemann sum. 9. You're sweeter than glucose. 10. We're as compatible as two similar Power Macintoshes. 11. Why don't we measure the coefficient of static friction between you and me? 12. Wanna see the programs in my HP-48GX? 13. Your body has the nicest arc length I've ever seen. 14. Isn't your e-mail address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com 15. You're hotter than a Bunsen burner set to full power!
STUPID PICK-UP LINES * Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here! * Roses are red, violets are blue, I like spaghetti, let's go screw. * Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money? * I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock. * That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too. * Hey Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I'll do it your way right away. * I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it. * I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one? * I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Walmart so I could ride you all day long for a quarter. * Wanna Play House? You be the screen door and I'll slam you all night long. * If you were a car, I'd wax you and ride you all over town. * I'm new in town. Could I have directions to your house? * I love every bone in your body -- especially mine. * You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away. * My recipe for love is one cup of you, one cup of me, knead till hard and serve hot. * I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room. No matter how many times we try to pick up a woman, it seems that we guys get shot down more than we ace. For you ladies out there, here are the putdown lines you use for our pickup lines! HIM: "Haven't we met before?"
HIM: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
HIM: "I'd really like to get into your pants."
HIM: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
HIM: "So what do you do for a living?"
HIM: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
After hearing a pick-up line:
A graying man in his 60's offered the pretty, young co-ed this oldie:
HIM: "I know how to please a woman."
HIM: "I want to give myself to you."
HIM: "I would go to the end of the world for you.
HIM: "Hey, how about pizza & a f**k?"
And finally, a rebuttal for the turned down guy . . . HIM: "Want to Dance?"
Two guys are walking down the street and the first guy glances at a girl who had just walked by. She turns around and says, "What are you looking at?" The second guy points to his friend and says, He thought you were good looking, but he was mistaken." REPLYING TO AN INVITATION TO A SCIENTIST'S BALL Ampere was worried he wasn't current.
A moldy-oldy The horse and the mules live 30 years,
The cow drinks water by the ton,
The cat in milk and water soaks,
All animals are strictly dry,
And some of us, the mighty few,
Q: What do you call three rabbits in a row, hopping backwards simultaneously? A: Receding hare-line. A man goes into a pet store and asks the clerk, "Do you have any dogs that go cheap?" The Clerk says, "No, We have birds that go cheep, our dogs go BARK!" The other day I decided to bake a cake and so, with my wife's permission, I got set to work in the kitchen. Then I discovered that we didn't have any butter, so I sent my dog to buy some. On the way, he passed a book store and, being intrigued by a display in the window, he went in and came home with a dog--eared book of poems. The point of my story is: Never send a literary dog to the grocery store because he'll get verse before he gets butter!"
|
|
|
|
