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Thanks to Biden and because “The Obama” sees himself as a successor to FDR and Truman, we now have the historical procession: the New Deal, the Square Deal, and the "Big F**n Deal." [No joke; The above government programs are, of course, are all RAW deals. Now that we face the latest infliction by this insidious rat commie bastard and his agenda, we are hurtling towards the coming Dark Ages if we don't stop this nightmare as it metastasis's itself in the minds of the American people and our children grow up thinking that this is something “normal” and some sort of a “right.” - Dave] * * * * * Which is a perfect segue to the next joke... * * * * * A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told him that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she was not sure that it was such a good idea. “Do you enjoy it?” the doctor asked. “Actually, yes, I do.” “Does it hurt you?” he asked. “No. I rather like it.” “Well, then,” the doctor continued, “There's no reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant.” The woman was mystified. “What? You can get pregnant from anal sex?” “Of course,” the doctor replied. “Where do you think people like Nancy Pelosi come from?” [I would add The Obomunist, Harry Reid, Chuck U. Schumer, Bawney Fwank, Bart Stupak, and the rest of the pinko Stalinist's in Congress. - Dave] [The last one is from GOC] * * * * * And since we're in the spirit of poking the beast in the eye with a sharp stick... * * * * * So it seems that a couple of weeks ago, Lucifer himself was walking around
Hell, observing all the suffering. He was on a mission to be sure everyone was
enduring the maximum pain when he noticed a chubby old guy with white hair
sweating and shoveling coal. The guy was obviously in great distress, but the Devil decided he just wasn't suffering sufficiently, so he walked up to the perspiring old fellow and whispered in his ear; ..."Hey, Teddy... Have I told you a Republican got your Senate seat?" BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! [Another from GOC] * * * * * I was In the washroom at bar last night & I saw a handwritten sign posted over one of those hot air hand dryers: "Please push button and listen for a short message from the President Obama !".......... "hot air" lasted for 5 minutes. Then I heard some one fart in the last stall. WOW! HOW DOES HE DO THAT? * * * * * Obama asked that we now refer to illegal immigrants as "UNDOCUMENTED DEMOCRATS” * * * * * Last, but hardly the least...
Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for Clunkers" program? A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road! [Forwarded to me by my wife, Elle – Thanks! How true, Dave] * * * * * Speaking of my wife… My wife says inside her lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But she
can usually shut the bitch up with cookies. Groaner alert! A mother and her two young boys were fighting raucously over how to split the giant lollypop that their mother bought for them. She then remembered the best way to resolve such conflicts were to let one child divide the candy and then the other chooses his piece. So older son broke it but it split perfectly in half so the choosing only led to further fighting. Sighing heavily while pulling the boys apart the mother remembered a bit of old wisdom: Never give a sucker an even break. [GOC] SPORTS! MOSCOW (Reuters) – President Dmitry Medvedev ordered Russian Olympic officials to quit or be maimed on Monday and demanded drastic changes to training procedures after a poor showing at the Winter Games dented national pride. Prime Minister Vladimir Putin said "Of course we expected more from our team, but that's no reason to beat ourselves with chains.... That's what the secret police are for!" * * *
* * The Winter Olympics have finally concluded. Americans are excited to resume not caring about winter sports. * * *
* * Chipper Jones has promised he will walk away from baseball if he has another disappointing season. We're hoping the Nationals do the same. * * * * * Veteran free agent infielder Rich Aurilia has said he would like to continue playing in the big leagues. So he won't be signing with the Washington Nationals. * * * * * Ron Artest hopes to lose 20 pounds of what he calls "useless weight." So he'll be cutting off his head. * * * * * Reports say that when
Carolina Panther Jake Delhomme was told that he was released from the team, he
threw a tantrum..... that was immediately intercepted. Buckwheat, who became famous as a member of the "Our Gang" comedy kids, has converted to Islam. His new Muslim name? Khareem of Wheat. I finally found myself a pre-owned hybrid car. The Toyugo; it’s a piece of shit with great acceleration. Makin' WHOOP-EEEEE! An attractive blonde was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. The blonde climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a whoop so loud that it would echo from the surrounding hills. When they arrived in town, he let the blonde off at the local service station. The Indian yelled one final, "Yahoo!" and rode off. "What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service station attendant. "Nothing. I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto his saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off." "Lady," the attendant said, "Indians ride bareback!" Q: Why is a redneck murder
so hard to solve? A: The DNA is the same and there are no dental records.
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